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They might be teaching you to override yourself.
To push when you’re meant to wait. To respond when you’re meant to be invited. To hustle when your nervous system is begging you to rest. For years I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn’t “stay consistent.” Turns out, I was designed that way. My inspiration comes in bursts. My timing is instinctive, not scheduled. My clarity lives in the moment — not in a three-month plan. So when a coach tells you to “just post daily,” “push through resistance,” or “follow the strategy,” ask yourself: whose design are they teaching you to live by? Human Design isn’t just another tool — it’s your permission slip to stop forcing what was never you. If you’ve been trying to “figure yourself out” through strategies that never quite stick — I get it. What changed everything for me was learning how to work with my energy and unique design, not against it. That’s what I help others uncover in the Art of Self - a one-on-one Path Opening Transmission — where we explore your Human Design, Gene Keys, and intuitive blueprint, so you can finally see what you have always known.
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I once had this mentor—a Manifesting Generator—who was teaching me about time-blocking systems, Pomodoro methods, and ways to get more done efficiently. And back then, before I knew about Human Design, before I understood that my natural rhythm was there for a reason, I thought she might have a point. So I got efficient. Like, really efficient. I freed fifteen more minutes here. Let’s squeeze in another fifteen there. Until my system got fried. Then there was the Generator relative. I told her, “I’m just tired. I don’t want to do any more art fairs right now.” And she said, “Why not? It makes money. You don’t have to stop until you figure something else out.” Well, of course she would say that. Her energy literally regenerates. She can go against what feels true without consequences—(or so it may seem*). But for a Projector, especially before you know you’re one, that might be the worst possible advice you could ever get. Both of them meant well. They were just giving advice from their design, not mine. And that’s the thing—Human Design isn’t about labels or limits. It’s about understanding how your energy actually works, so you stop frying your nervous system trying to live like someone else’s.  Because the truth is that if what I tell you about your design is correct for you, you’ll feel it. You’ll know it intuitively. At some point, you always did—until the world convinced you otherwise. 𒀭𒀭𒀭 And if you’re wondering why you, or someone like me, could be so susceptible to absorbing what isn’t right for them, in Human Design terms, that’s called conditioning. I have a defined Root Center, which is like having a fire constantly lit under your butt, while my open Head Center keeps pouring in inspiration and ideas 24/7. The Root wants to go-go-go, and the Head keeps feeding new sparks. But with an undefined Sacral, unlike the Manifesting Generator and Generator in the previous part of the story, it’s like having a brand-new Lamborghini with no gas. Of course, I can endlessly rev up the engine at a red light for absolutely no good reason—but that’s not really what it’s for, now is it?  So no—this isn’t to say you can’t learn from someone who has a different energy type.
It’s about knowing your design so well, being so aligned with it, that you can take what’s true and leave the rest. And it probably helps for your mentors and teachers, and even for parents - to know and respect your differences – so that they don’t try to convince you of something that may not be correct for you – especially if you have an open Heart – and/or open Solar Plexus centers like me– but more on that – on a different occasion. When you’re grounded in your own rhythm, you can stay open to inspiration without frying your own system. ▀▄▀▄▀▄ 🏁🏎️💨 ▀▄▀▄▀▄ If you want clarity on how you’re meant to move through the world—your natural rhythm, creative flow, and energetic boundaries—my Art of Self: Path Opening Transmission is a beautiful place to start. It’s a quick, practical dive into the way your energy is supposed to work—so you can finally move through life in a way that feels true, effortless, and beneficial. I thought I was signing up for spiritual wisdom. Turns out, I was paying to listen to a windstorm in designer sunglasses. To be fair, she looked the part: glowy, barefoot, beach backdrop. The kind of person who says “frequency” instead of “vibe” and somehow makes it sound taxable. And maybe that’s what got me — I mean, who doesn’t want to believe enlightenment smells like sea salt and private-jet fuel? So I clicked join. The Transmission She appeared, haloed in sunlight, voice rising over what I assumed was the ocean. Except it wasn’t the ocean. It was wind. Lots of wind. The kind that makes you want to throw your phone in a sock drawer. But everyone else in the comments was typing things like “yesss goddess” and “the frequency of wealth is loud today.” So I thought maybe I just didn’t get it. Maybe I needed to listen harder. Spoiler: I didn’t. The Awakening Somewhere between “exclusive access” and “only three people in the world have this view,” I realized this wasn’t spiritual expansion. It was a sales pitch with a seashell filter. And that’s okay. She’s doing her thing. But I finally recognized the sound that had been bugging me the whole time. It wasn’t the wind. It was the gaslighting. The Wisdom (with a breeze of humility) I’m not mad. I was just… curious. Maybe a little greedy. Maybe I wanted to see if enlightenment came with room service. But here’s what I learned: spirituality and money absolutely can coexist — but when the Wi-Fi is stronger than the self-awareness, it’s probably time to log out. Not everything that glitters is gold. Sometimes it’s just sand in your eyes and your money in the wind.  ✦ How a Tiny Dog with a Big Personality Brought Aliveness Back to Our Manor ✦ The manor was still. Not dramatic, just... stagnant. Like when the playlist runs out and nobody notices, because they weren’t really dancing in the first place. Blondie was quiet. Matt was quiet. I was somewhere between feral and frozen — tiptoeing through a season of fog that had overstayed its welcome. Then came Moose. He didn’t knock. He barked. He peed. He tripped over air and launched himself into our home like a champagne cork fired from the hands of God — chaotic, effervescent, and absolutely uninterested in your furniture arrangement. He was not the dog we were expecting. But maybe he was the disruption we needed. The crack in the stillness. The tiny, unapologetic peacock tail of life flaring up in the corner of the living room, insisting: “I’m here. You’re here. Let’s make some noise.” Aliveness Isn’t Always Graceful
Sometimes it drools. Sometimes it runs into glass doors. Sometimes it leaps before it looks and lands in your lap like a furry existential crisis with a squeaky toy. But aliveness wakes you up. And Moose? He barks at shadows, has feelings very loudly, and loves harder than most people I know. He reminds us — daily — that feeling everything is a privilege. That joy isn’t always tidy. That the soul sometimes re-enters through the back door, covered in mud and holding a stolen sock. Our Manor Breathes Again The house is messy. The couch is full. The vibe is… unhinged but alive. And honestly? It’s never felt more like home. Moose didn’t just bring us a reason to laugh — he brought back the part of us that could. ✦ When fawning becomes identity ✦ Sometimes the deepest trauma is the one that feels most natural. You think it’s your nature to give, to absorb, to keep the peace. But what if it isn’t who you are — just who you became to survive?  For a long time, I didn’t recognize my trauma because it wore the mask of love.
Fawning wasn’t something I did — it was something I became. It was sacrifice disguised as kindness. It was putting everyone else’s needs first — not because I didn’t matter, but because I believed I was the strongest. Because I thought I was keeping everyone safe. That if I said no, if I stopped absorbing, if I chose myself… something bad would happen. That was the trauma: The belief that my desires were dangerous. I was smart. I was determined. I was brave. But the invisible mask of fawning became my greatest self-sabotage. Because I couldn’t see it. No one could. The Silent Form of Trauma Fawning doesn’t look like panic. It doesn’t fall apart or scream. It adapts. And because I could function — always with a smile — no one asked if I was okay. No one saw I was collapsing under the weight of the world I put on my shoulders. Not even me. ❁✿❀ ღ Like the functioning alcoholic, I was the functional empath:
The Recognition That Set Me Free Fawning is different from fight, flight, or freeze. It’s slipperier. It disguises itself as intuition, strength, compassion, maturity. I now see: From the moment I was born, I learned to regulate the emotional temperature of the room. I won’t get into the reasons why this happens in this post, but I now understand it has to do with both family patterns and our unique Human Design. At its root, it’s a trauma response — one designed to regulate the environment, not express your truth. This is why so many brave, high-functioning, loving women (and men) stay stuck:
What I Know Now I don’t need to prove my goodness by being the most accommodating woman in the room. I don’t have to hold the emotional weight of other people’s choices. I am allowed to want, to rest, to disappoint people. Saying no is not a betrayal. Dreaming bigger is not dangerous. Letting go of false peace is not cruelty — it’s truth. And most of all: I wasn’t anxious — I was overflowing with what no one else knew how to hold. And I wasn’t broken — I was bending under the weight of what I thought was love. I was never selfish for wanting more. I was just fawning my way through a world that didn’t know how to hold me back. But now I do. ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ There’s something quietly beautiful in the works for November -- an experience created to help you gently uncover the invisible masks you’ve been wearing, and remember who you are beneath them. More soon. 𓂃 ོ☼𓂃 Why Your Environment Matters as Much as Your Inner Work There’s a common misconception that transformation happens in isolation — that if you meditate, journal, or do inner work, everything else will automatically fall into place. But the truth is, we are not separate from our environment. The spaces we live in, work in, and sleep in carry as much weight as the work we do on ourselves. How Aligning Your Inner and Outer Spaces Creates Effortless Flow I help people refine and elevate both their internal and external environment. When the inner and outer support each other, life becomes effortless. Our nervous system, energy, and aesthetics align to create a self-sustaining mirror — a space that regulates, harmonizes, and activates us.  Beauty, Energy, and Coherence: The Key to Transformation It’s not just about beauty, though beauty matters. It’s not just about energy work, though that is essential. Beauty is a passive nervous system regulator, and it carries the same frequency as love and gratitude — even when it’s challenging to feel grateful from the mind alone. When these elements converge, they create coherence: mind and heart, inner and outer, aligning to support a life that feels natural, empowered, and deeply embodied.  Human Design, Gene Keys, and Astrology for Your Ideal Space I support the inner architecture through energetics, a bespoke and intuitive mix of Human Design, Gene Keys, and sometimes astrology — helping you uncover the manual you came here with and how you are meant to move through the world. To align with their surroundings, I can intuitively guide a person to tune their environment to their inner design and goals, but when someone wants clarity on the spaces that serve them best, we can dive specifically into which environments, layouts, and aesthetics are most aligned for their unique human design. The Art of Space and the Art of Life: Designing Your Aligned Life The environments we inhabit are extensions of ourselves. When they’re aligned, they hold us, elevate us, and reflect the life we’re meant to live. Whether through the Art of Space or the Art of Life, my work is about creating coherence — inside and out — so that your environment doesn’t just reflect who you are, but amplifies who you are becoming. Explore Services → If you’re familiar with Vadim Zeland’s Reality Transurfing book, you already know that your energy, your attention, and your environment shape your lifeline. But what most people don’t realize is that their space—the home, office, or even their everyday surroundings—is the most overlooked pendulum and also one of the most powerful tools for alignment.  That’s where my work truly shines. I don’t just talk theory—I guide you into embodiment. By refining your environment and lifestyle, Reality Transurfing stops being something you “practice” and becomes the reality you actually live inside of.  At its essence, Reality Transurfing is about: Choosing a lifeline — a version of reality that already exists in the space of variations.
 Here’s how these concepts connect to my work: 1. Space as a Mirror of Reality Your external world reflects your inner state. I help clients refine their spaces so they stop reinforcing old, misaligned lifelines. By shifting the environment, they can more easily access the frequency of the reality they want. 2. Alignment with the Space of Variations Clients step into a more refined, elevated lifeline rather than “fighting” their current one. Refinement becomes like tuning a radio dial to the version of reality that already exists. 3. Lowering Importance Many obsess over goals—home, lifestyle, business, self-image—and create resistance. My approach dissolves excess potential, inviting natural flow. 4. Pendulums Clutter, cookie-cutter trends, inherited beliefs, environments or even human design conditioning act like pendulums draining energy. I guide clients to free themselves from these influences, redirecting energy toward their chosen reality. 5. Practical Transurfing Where the concept can feel abstract, my work grounds it:
 In essence, by serendipity, my work arrived before I knew Reality Transurfing, yet it naturally embodies it—and offers a living, breathing practice of Reality Transurfing through design, space, and lifestyle alignment.
Being a 5/1 splenic projector, I have a knack for seeing the misalignments in your space, life, and energy patterns that others miss—and guiding you through them so that Transurfing stops being a theory and becomes the reality you actually live. It’s about feeling your future already humming through your environment, every single day. For those who already realize the immense power their identity and environment hold—if you’re ready to stop practicing and start living your ideal lifeline, check out my services or even better, let’s talk! How Beauty, Energy & Environment Shape the Life You’re Becoming Before I ever thought of myself as a "lifestyle designer" or “space alchemist” I was a professional artist. I spent over a decade painting, exhibiting, and setting up booths at art shows — often pouring my heart into the work only to sit there in deep discomfort if no one stopped by. The silence felt brutal. The spiral would begin: Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I don’t belong here. I was so sensitive to the energy of rejection that if things didn’t go well right away, I could barely sit in my booth at all. I’d find excuses to leave, talk to other artists, avoid the discomfort of just being with myself in that moment. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was the beginning of my relationship with space, energy, and the deep psychology of environment. Also, to understanding how human design held clues to my sensitivity and to why this affected me so much. (Spoiler alert: it also holds the solutions). One day, something shifted. Instead of spiraling, I began experimenting. I started silently blessing the people who passed by. I noticed something beautiful about each of them. I rearranged my booth — not because I knew what I was doing, but because I felt something was off. And then, suddenly... people started walking in. People started buying. I didn’t change my art. I shifted the my own energy and the energy of the space. That was the seed. That was when I began to understand: Space holds energy. Thoughts hold power. And the way things feel often matters more than how they look. I began to study — not through textbooks, but through my own body. I studied failure. I studied misalignment. I studied what it felt like to show up in a space that didn’t reflect who I was. And slowly, I began to piece together a language of beauty, nervous system regulation, space psychology, and intuitive alignment. Not as something I “decided to teach.” But as something I couldn’t ignore. Because I could feel when a space was off. I could feel when a woman’s environment was amplifying a version of herself she was no longer meant to carry. I could feel when her home was quietly telling her a story that didn’t match her truth. And I could feel the power in aligning it. I could feel if someone felt misaligned - from their own energy. I work at the intersection of the tangible and the energetic. I help women design both their spaces and their lives in a way that is aligned, refined, and deeply supportive. It’s not just about styling. It’s not just about energy work. It’s the fusion of both. Because when your nervous system feels safe, beauty returns. And when your environment reflects your becoming — instead of your past — everything shifts. Sometimes that shift comes from rearranging a room. Sometimes it comes from a conversation that opens the door back to your truth. Here’s what I know: You’re not broken. You’re just becoming. Your home isn’t just a backdrop. It’s a co-creator. And beauty? True beauty — not performative perfection — is one of the most powerful tools of nervous system regulation I’ve ever known. Because we don’t just live in homes. We live in frequencies. My offerings were born from this understanding: The Art of Space™ is not about what’s wrong in your home — it’s about what’s misaligned. We tune your space to your truth. We bring coherence to what feels chaotic. We make the invisible visible — and shift the story your space is telling. The Art of Life™ is about your energy, your design, your becoming. Using Human Design, Gene Keys, nervous system awareness, and intuitive insight, we map your essence — and bring it into form. Because you don’t have to break yourself to become yourself. You just have to create an environment — internal and external — that supports who you already are. Who you're meant to be. I call this fine lifestyle design. Because this is about more than style. It’s about how you live. How you hold yourself. How you soften, expand, breathe, remember. It’s beauty as a mirror. Space as a tuning fork. Life as an offering. And you — as a woman in her own right time — coming home to yourself.  Ready to explore your own refinement?
If this speaks to something stirring inside you… If you're feeling the pull toward alignment, resonance, and beauty that actually supports your becoming -- I’d love to walk that journey with you. You can explore my current offerings — including The Art of Space and The Art of Life, or spend an entire day with me working on your becoming. Let’s make space for the truth of who you are. And design a life — and a home — that supports all of it. I think I accidentally entered a Mattress Portal (aka, one of those metaphors that slaps you mid-to-do list) So I ordered a new mattress. It arrives today. Not for my main bed—for my backup bed. Yes, I have one. For reasons mostly spelled: S-N-O-R-I-N-G. The one I retreat to when the snoring reaches: aggressive bear in an echo chamber levels. It’s been my little sanctuary. And technically, it worked. Not perfect. Not new. Not mine. It used to belong to a teenage boy. And it smelled like it-- like a locker room footnote no amount of spiritual bypassing could fix. So I:
Like it was an HGTV dorm room detox—trauma edition. And for a while, I convinced myself it was fine. Until I thought- maybe it’s time for an upgrade. So I finally made the call. Ordered the same mattress we have in the main bedroom. Didn’t overthink it. Didn’t spiral for two weeks. Just clicked “Buy.” And then… Suddenly the old one felt: ⊹ supportive ⊹ familiar ⊹ kinda comfy It was giving: “Maybe this isn’t so bad after all?” energy. That’s when I realized: This mattress was a portal. A perfectly squishy, faintly scented, energetically-laden metaphor for my life. The part of me that gets this close to real lumbar support-- Then panics… And clings to the old out of fear the new might not deliver. Because what if they haul it away and the new one is worse? The: “Maybe-I-should-stay-where-it’s-safe-even-if-it-smells-like-a-boy’s-old-socks” pattern. And the truth is: I don’t have to fall in love with the new mattress overnight. I just have to trust the version of me who bought it-- The version who knew she was ready for better. Even if it’s just a mattress. (It’s never just a mattress.) #MattressPortal #EnergeticUpgrade #VisualAlchemy #TrustYourTaste #NoGoingBack  Full disclosure: This isn’t my actual spare bedroom.
It’s from a High Point Market showroom—one of those dreamy, trade-only portals where design meets possibility. And yes... you can come with me. ✔ Fine Lifestyle Design: In the Wild™ — Market Edition Signature Experience – A VIP immersion day for the woman ready to live, shop, curate a corner of her world and embody her next-level lifestyle, normally reserved for interior designers, but accessible to my clients through me. (And maybe test a few cloudlike mattresses along the way.) ❤︎ Inquire privately to join me. Some women rescue stray animals. (Well, I do that too, but that's not my point today.) Some save vintage handbags. Me? I save antique hand lotion. Once upon a World Market trip (circa the late aughts?), I found a bottle of overpriced lavender hand cream. Did I buy it for the quality? Probably not. I bought it because the bottle was a work of art—glass, vintage-style label, total bathroom royalty vibes. The cream? Meh. Not bad, not amazing, just… there. Fast forward to today...  Madame de Crème has lived a long and sedentary life on my counter, her pump no longer able to reach the remaining lotion stuck to her glamorous bottom. What remains smells less like lavender and more like “expired spa fantasy.” But the container? Still divine. And so begins Operation Lavender Lazarus™.  Objective: Rescue a now-rancid but still regally housed hand cream and prepare the bottle for a second act. Because she deserves one. I deserve one. We all deserve one. ⋆⋆⋆ Current Methodology Under Review:
 Sure, I could probably march into World Market and buy a new one—if they even still make it. But here’s the thing: I actually care about sustainability. No, I’m not a saint. I still eat microwave popcorn and hoard glass jars like a squirrel with aesthetic tendencies. (Plot twist: I recently stopped hoarding jars… but I did save one Nescafé jar for a noble cause—this will be the sacrificial peasant vessel for whatever comes out of Madame de Crème.) But I do care. About the Earth. About waste. About not tossing out beauty just because it’s a little… crusty. So yes, this is about elegance, but it’s also about honoring what already exists. I’m not just giving this bottle a second act-- I’m giving it the standing ovation it deserves.  Mood: Mad Scientist meets Divine Feminine. This is not about efficiency. This is about transformation, beauty, and the magic of refusing to toss something just because it’s past its prime. Enter: The Duchess of Decay turned Dame of Dew. Let it be known—no bottle is too far gone, no label too faded, no lavender dream too expired.  Before & After coming soon… (If the bottle explodes, at least we’ll have the story.) Stay tuned, rebels. This is where Fine Lifestyle Design™ meets The Elegant Rebellion™-- where even expired hand cream gets a comeback story.  Next up?
Operation Vintage Leather Meats™ Because once you’re done resurrecting antique lotion, the only logical next step is confronting the frozen archives of Thanksgivings past—those noble feasts that never got to live to their fullest potential. Stay tuned as we clean out the freezer and face the fowl truth about what’s been aging in the icy shadows. Will the Duchess of Decay be joined by the Countess of Cold Cuts? We’ll find out—freezer drawer by freezer drawer. |
AuthorHello there! I’m Ivette—an artist and creative visionary. Through fine art, aesthetics, and energetics, I explore the connection between beauty, alignment, and transformation. Here, I share insights on intentional living, refined spaces, and the art of Fine Lifestyle Design™. 
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