Behold: The Resurrection of Madame de Crème, Reborn

Some women rescue stray animals. (Well, I do that too, but that's not my point today.)
Some save vintage handbags.
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Me?
I save antique hand lotion.

Once upon a World Market trip (circa the late aughts?), I found a bottle of overpriced lavender hand cream. Did I buy it for the quality? Probably not. I bought it because the bottle was a work of art—glass, vintage-style label, total bathroom royalty vibes. The cream? Meh. Not bad, not amazing, just… there.

Fast forward to today...
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Madame de Crème has lived a long and sedentary life on my counter, her pump no longer able to reach the remaining lotion stuck to her glamorous bottom. What remains smells less like lavender and more like “expired spa fantasy.” But the container? Still divine.

And so begins Operation Lavender Lazarus™.

Objective:

Rescue a now-rancid but still regally housed hand cream and prepare the bottle for a second act.

Because she deserves one. I deserve one. We all deserve one.

⋆⋆⋆

Current Methodology Under Review:

• Warm Water Elixir Swirl:
  Pouring hot (not boiling) water inside the bottle to loosen the fossilized remains.
  Label must be protected at all costs. A royal bath, not a scalding.
• The Gentle Stir (Code Name: Velvet Churn):
  Using a chopstick or knife to coax the dried lavender gunk from the depths without scratching the bottle.
  Gentle, but firm. She’s been through enough.
• Alchemical Option A: The Persian Lavender Volcano™:
  A dash of baking soda. A kiss of vinegar. A science-fair-style foam uprising designed to lift gunk to the surface and bring our queen back to life.
  (Safety goggles optional. Applause encouraged.)
• What I Almost Tried:
  Diet Coke + Mentos.
  …but I’m not trying to summon Poseidon through my sink. Not today.

Sure, I could probably march into World Market and buy a new one—if they even still make it.

But here’s the thing: I actually care about sustainability.

No, I’m not a saint.

I still eat microwave popcorn and hoard glass jars like a squirrel with aesthetic tendencies. (Plot twist: I recently stopped hoarding jars… but I did save one Nescafé jar for a noble cause—this will be the sacrificial peasant vessel for whatever comes out of Madame de Crème.)

But I do care. About the Earth. About waste. About not tossing out beauty just because it’s a little… crusty.
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So yes, this is about elegance, but it’s also about honoring what already exists.

I’m not just giving this bottle a second act--
I’m giving it the standing ovation it deserves.

Mood: Mad Scientist meets Divine Feminine.

This is not about efficiency.
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This is about transformation, beauty, and the magic of refusing to toss something just because it’s past its prime.

Enter: The Duchess of Decay turned Dame of Dew.
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Let it be known—no bottle is too far gone, no label too faded, no lavender dream too expired.
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 Before & After coming soon…
(If the bottle explodes, at least we’ll have the story.)

Stay tuned, rebels.
This is where Fine Lifestyle Design™ meets The Elegant Rebellion™--
where even expired hand cream gets a comeback story. 

Next up?

​Operation Vintage Leather Meats™
Because once you’re done resurrecting antique lotion, the only logical next step is confronting the frozen archives of Thanksgivings past—those noble feasts that never got to live to their fullest potential.

Stay tuned as we clean out the freezer and face the fowl truth about what’s been aging in the icy shadows.
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Will the Duchess of Decay be joined by the Countess of Cold Cuts?

We’ll find out—freezer drawer by freezer drawer.