The Bead That Broke the Knot

​I’ve been trying to get back in the studio forever.
It was just not happening.
My studio was ugly. So I redid it last July.
That wasn’t it.

Maybe I was scared to tie my passion to external validation again.
The moment art stopped being for me, the moment I opened the door for sales,
​it started being about the clients.
“The business.”
It stopped being fun.
Maybe that’s why I kept finding other things to do. I tend to do that.

But my first First Friday in years is coming. Fast.
Like, in two weeks fast…
And I still haven’t started painting again.
So in a last-ditch effort to shake things (and my hands) up, I booked a little beading class at a cute shop in town.

Not because I love beading (I don’t).
Not because I have patience for tiny little knots (I don’t).
But because I had a strand of tourmaline I bought in Italy and a strand of turquoise I bought in Israel on my last trip there in November, and I wanted to learn how to turn them into necklaces.​

The Stones That Wouldn’t Take No for an Answer
I walked in having already decided I was going to choose Garnet or Citrine for the class—something intentional, symbolic, chosen for where I’m stepping into. 
​But…

• The Citrine was so pale on me, it looked like shit on a white chicken (yes, another one of my husband’s pearls of wisdom, they all seem to revolve around one particular subject).
• The garnet was so dark it was almost brown—like the shit ON the white chicken.

But then… this beautiful sparkly strand kept winking at me.

Ruby.
​No. No. No.
I was determined.
So I kept looking—checked what that one over there was…maybe that’s a prettier Garnet.
What do you know? That was Ruby too.

No.
I already decided.
I already chose.
Kept looking… found another purple-red stone winking at me—maybe that one?
​
Haha… Rubies again.
So I looked up its properties.​​
​

Ruby: vitality, courage, passion, abundance, desire, magnetism.
It’s the stone of queens. Of sovereignty. Of stepping into your power without hesitation.
​
And of course, it was everything I wanted to step into.
I want it all.
So I surrendered.

​And Then… Chrysocolla Found Me.
The instructor suggested something bigger—easier to work with for this particular technique.
And that was tough because I don’t like big, I like dainty.
But then I remembered Chrysocolla.

I asked.
She showed me.
I picked up the strand.
A stunning blue-green necklace that looked like it belonged on a tropical beach.
(Just like me).
​

And I laughed, because I had been looking for a Chrysocolla necklace for a while.

​Last year, in Santa Barbara, I walked into a crystal shop.
This stone called me. It said Chrysocolla.
I looked up the properties—great for artists, creative expression, divine feminine flow—perfect!

I bought it.
Brought it home.
Even wrote about it in my blog.
And then… the more I looked at it, the more I thought…
This isn’t Chrysocolla.
I think they sold me amazonite by mistake.

So I kept looking. Never found one.
Until this class.
Until, of course, it found me.
​
Chrysocolla: the stone of deep expression, intuition, and creative flow.
It’s about speaking your truth, channeling your emotions into something beautiful, and letting inspiration move through you without force.
​
And I laughed again.
Because of course, this was the one.

​The Bead, The Knot, and the Shift I Didn’t See Coming.
I sat down.
Watched the demonstration.
It looked super complicated.
But to my surprise, I immediately picked it up.
And I started inserting beads and tying knots.

I don’t have patience for tiny knots.
I don’t find repetitive tasks meditative.
I didn’t even think I’d enjoy this class.

But somewhere in the middle of tying those knots… something shifted.
I dropped out of my head and into my body.
Into my hands.
Into the rhythm.

​Finally.

After months of trying to force myself back into creating…
After all the overthinking, the “why am I not in the studio yet?” mental loops…
It took a beading class—something so not my thing—to break the resistance.

Maybe it was because…
This wasn’t something I was learning in order to sell.
This wasn’t about an offer, a collection, a price tag.
It was just for me.

☆ No pressure.
☆ No expectations.
☆Just beauty, intention, and the simple joy of creating with my hands—making something I wanted to wear.
​

The Moral of the Story
I am now the proud owner of three beautiful necklaces.
(Yes, I got a strand of Peridot too – A stone of abundance, lightness, and heart-centered expansion. Said to carry the energy of sunshine, it invites prosperity, warmth, and a sense of renewal. It’s a reminder to receive, to open, to allow).

Two more on the way. (Tourmaline and Turquoise).
And I’m going back for the Emeralds.

Why? Because…
✧ I can’t resist beautiful things with depth.
✧ Maybe I will create a necklace for the mood of each day—for the intention I am setting.
✧ And because somehow, somewhere between the bead and the knot, I found my way back.